In-Tune News You’ll Want To Use

Professional appraisers sum it up in three words — buyers make
value. Ultimately, the value of your home is what a reasonable
buyer is willing to pay within a reasonable time. Setting an
asking price for your home requires that you anticipate what
most buyers would be willing to pay. This requires a close look
at comparable home sales in your area, as well as making an
assessment of the state of the real estate market itself.
Pricing correctly is fundamental to the successful outcome in
the sale of your home.

Market Analysis

Homes listed for sale and recent closed sales in your area will
usually provide relevant comparable data for pricing your home.
Closed sales show market confirmed prices, while listing prices
indicate the current trend in pricing. Later, when your home is
appraised for the buyer’s loan, the appraiser will only consider
recent closed sales. Asking prices will not be considered. A
sales price that is solidly based on recent sales of similar
homes will not have a problem when the price is later reviewed
by an appraiser. If your home is superior or inferior to most
homes in the neighborhood, or if there are few or no nearby
sales, then anticipating the responses of potential buyers will
be more difficult. In this case, a trial and error strategy may
be necessary. This is a sensitive area and requires a realistic
assessment of your home and its market. For example, one very
nice home was continually rejected because it had the master
bedroom upstairs, and it was located in an area where most
buyers were over the age of 45, with older children. Real Estate
Market

An important aspect of pricing is an assessment of the state of
the real estate market. The market may favor buyers or sellers,
or be in balance. An indicator of the quality of the market is
the number of months of standing inventory in your market and
price range. Consider your market area to be all neighborhoods
that offer competing choices for your potential buyer. Here is
how to do that:

Count the number of sales in your market area and price range
for the past 12 months.

Divide the number of sales by 12, to get the number of sales per
month (sales rate).

Count the number of homes on the market now.

Divide the number of homes on the market by the number of sales
per month (sales rate).

This will show you the number of months it will take to clear
the current inventory.

Seller’s Market

Less than 6 months of standing inventory is considered a
seller’s market. In a seller’s market the number of buyers is
large in proportion to the number of homes for sale. The demand
for homes is greater than the supply. Buyers must compete with
each other for the available inventory. There may be multiple
offers received shortly after a property goes on the market.
Buyers will submit the highest possible price and terms that the
market will support. Prices will trend upward. In a climbing
market, pricing slightly above recent sales is appropriate.

Buyer’s Market

More than 8 months of inventory is considered a buyer’s market.
In a buyer’s market the number of buyers is small in proportion
to the number of homes for sale. This situation can be created
by high interest rates, employment decline and excessive
building. A low number of buyers equals a lower price. Sellers
must compete with each other for available buyers. Prices trend
downward. In a falling market, prices should be set at the lower
end of the range, because time works against you. In six months
prices may be lower. This may be difficult to do, especially if
your home was purchased at a higher price.

Price Per Square Foot

Dollars per square foot is often used as tool for comparing
homes of varying sizes to determine a list price. When price per
square foot is used, it is important to keep in mind that you
must make a sliding scale adjustment from larger to smaller
homes. In other words, the larger the house, the lower the price
per square foot for comparable homes. This is because the core
square footage of a home has a higher value than the peripheral
area. For example, the price per sq. ft. on a 1,000 sf home will
be much higher than a 5,000 sf home, with other things being
equal. We usually graph the neighborhood prices per sq. ft. to
get a visual picture of the market in the neighborhood, as well
to see how much the price per square foot declines from smaller
to mid-sized to larger homes.

Should you price high, and hope for an offer?

Houses should not be priced over the market. This is not the
best way to position your home for several reasons:

Your home will be shown to the wrong group of buyers, from whom
you need an aggressive negotiator - someone who will make a low
offer.

You will inadvertently help to sell the competition. Your high
price will convince buyers that another home is a good value.

Your days on the market is evident to buyers, and is a subtle
but important factor in their decisions. Your best leverage
occurs during the early marketing period.

How will you know if the price is correct?

The best affirmation of correct pricing is second looks from
buyers. This indicates that your home appeals to buyers in your
price range. There may be a few nibbles before a buyer comes
forward who is ready to act. It helps to get feedback from
Realtors and potential buyers. Keep in mind that they will often
be reluctant to say negative things. The summary of feedback is
more important than what they say. Are you getting nice
rejections or are you getting second looks?

How will you know if the price is incorrect?

You may have steady showings, but lukewarm responses. This
indicates that are buyers, but they have other choices with more
competitive prices. Or, you may have very few showings. In this
case, the buyer pool for your area, or for the style or
condition of your home is small. This will require a strategy of
more competitive pricing and a longer marketing time. Remember
that a small buyer pool, for any reason, is a “buyer’s market”
and requires more aggressive pricing.

How long should you market a home at a given price?

There is no uniform time frame for marketing at set price. I
think about 8-10 showings is a reasonable number for feedback
regarding the price. This usually corresponds to about 2 - 6
weeks for an average home in a balanced market. About 30 days
marketing time for a given price could be good a rule of thumb.
However, this may be too short for your home if you have an
unusual or very high end home for which there is a small market.
Or, 30 days may be too long for your home if you need to move
fast.

What happens if your home does not sell in a reasonable time?

If your home has been on the market for months with no offers,
you have been given a clear message that the price is set too
high. This is particularly true if showings have slowed down and
there are few prospects coming to see it. What you do at this
point depends on whether you really need to sell. If you’re not
really motivated to move soon, you can always wait for the
market to catch up to the price you want. It would be best to
take your home off the market and wait for better conditions.
Buyers become suspicious of a house that’s been for sale for a
long time. If you need to sell, consider a schedule for dropping
your price until it reaches a level that attracts buyers.
There’s no reason to say, We simply can’t sell our house. Houses
will sell if the price is right.

How can you get top dollar for your home?

Although buyers will not pay more than market value, they will
pay a premium for homes that are in excellent condition and well
presented. With good condition and presentation, you can reach
the high end of the price range achievable for your house. We
will work with you to “create value” before your house goes on
the market. When it goes on the market, we will make sure that
your home is show beautifully to a wide audience.

The common tee (formerly known as t-shirts) has come a long way.
The tee were usually made for only men…but now, with technology
and broadening of creativity (and minds), more women are seen
donning the common tee to special events and even formal
functions.

Some women would rather not be seen out in public in a tee, and
would only wear their tee at home, but with added finesse,
creativity, and uniqueness to the tees that can be found in the
market these days, why the hell not? Not only are they
comfortable, but you can actually get a fashionable one that
suits your style. If you team it up with a fab looking cardigan
or a cool skirt, your tee can take you a long, long,
LLLOOONNNNGGGGG way!

The demand for fashionable tees has taken the industry to new
heights over the last couple of years. Women are not longer
required to make a decision between price or quality. Now, tees
are widely available all over the place, including online
e-commerce stores at low prices and made of high quality fabric.
Yes, the cost price of a tee is low and that is why consumers
know that they are getting an incredible value for a good tee at
a reasonable pricing.

The key to buying a high quality tee is to make sure that the
tee is made of innovative and premium fabric. The design (print
or sewing) needs to be stylish, personal and unique in every
sense of the word. If not, the tee is going to look like
something you just dragged out of your husband’s closet! For
fashion conscious folks, this is probably not a good idea.

The tee shirt market is more than happy to provide and
manufacture more fashion tees for women because it gives them a
better range of products to sell. For instance, there’s the low
v-neck tee, the body-hugging tee, the baby tee, the raglan tee,
the capped sleeves tee, the women’s baseball tee, the common
tee….and the number of different tee shirts that the companies
can come up with is limitless! Well, limited only by the
creativity and minds of the tee designers, of course.

The options of women’s tee does not only come in the form of
different designs. In fact, some tee shirt manufacturers are
doing cartwheels all around the office block because they can
experiment and try out the tee designs with different weight
options, colors, texture, ribs, hemp, pique, ottoman….etc to fit
the various ages of women. But when it comes to women’s tee, the
King of Tee is none other than the famous cotton. It’s
comfortable, it’s flexible, it’s affordable and it comes in many
different varieties as well. To top it all off the cotton tee is
rather tough and can last the wearer a long time. In fact,
cotton tees are a favorite among men and babies as well.

The reason why cotton tees are so comfortable is because cotton
is extremely light - feathery, almost. It weighs between 3.8
ounces to 5.5 ounces. The heavier the cotton tee, the tougher
the tee is. However, for those who live in hotter climate may
opt for lighter weight tee because there’s better circulation of
air.

Many tee shirt manufacturers now realize that it’s no longer as
simple as it used to be. In order to sell tees in the ladies’
market, they need to be innovative and creative. Women need
fashion, unlike men. With men, one size fits all, and there’s
only one shape and design to contend with. With ladies’ tee,
it’s a completely different ball game now.

With the rising popularity of stretchable tees and sport tees,
companies are now using modifying their direction and trying to
use stretchable tee material to produce their tee shirts
especially for the ladies’ market. For stretchability, lycra and
spandex is used. On top of the ability to give the wearer a
tight-fitting and body-shaping look, it’s stretchable and does
not restrict the movement of the wearer.

Ribbing is also often used to provide more options for the
ladies’ fashion tee market. When the ribbing technique is used,
it looks like it is tight-fitting but it’s actually not. The
material becomes heavier but it’s bulkier, providing warmth and
comfort to the fashion tee wearer.

With a good eye out for combination, and color (and of course,
style) women can literally wear tees anywhere. Tee to the tea
party, tee to the office function, tee to the golf course, tee
to the office boardroom (hidden under a jacket,
perhaps)..anywhere!

Even the greenest neophyte in the world of online poker, who couldn’t tell a pair of deuces from a straight flush, could probably say with no tremors of uncertainty in his or her voice that Poker Stars is one of the dominant online poker rooms in operation today. The reasons for this are many and varied, but one probably stands far above the rest: the WSOP.

Currently serving as spokesmen for Poker Stars is a triumvirate of humble gentlemen you may have heard of, going by the names of Chris Moneymaker, Greg (”Fossilman”) Raymer and Joseph Hachem. All three of these guys strut around the globe wearing championship bracelets from the World Series of Poker (well, it’s possible they keep them on the mantle at home, but you get the idea.) And how exactly did this formidable three-pack vault themselves into the annals of poker greatness? By winning satellite tournaments hosted by no other website than Poker Stars.com.

But let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that you yourself harbor no ambitions more serious than an occasional lazy daydream about becoming a WSOP champion. Surely there must be other reasons for you to check out Poker Stars? Damn straight, and primary among these are the excellent bonus opportunities you will find at this stellar site.

Now let’s get one thing settled right away, just so there’s no confusion out there. You may have heard from some dubious sources that Poker Stars does not offer any type of signup bonus. Well, I have something to tell you: the rumors are true. But don’t go running home to Mommy with tears streaming down your cheeks just yet. The fact that this site offers zero in the way of signup bonuses, if you think about it for a minute, suggests that they’re pretty confident about what they have to offer once you’ve decided to join. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

Let’s move on to the loyalty bonuses offered at Poker Stars. This is where you can really hit the jackpot. A Frequent Player Point (FPP) is awarded for each raked hand and five FPPs are awarded for each $1 paid in tournament registration fees. The FPPs can be redeemed for entries in weekly and monthly special tournaments. Or, if you prefer, you can just mosey on over to the member’s store and take care of it there.

And if that’s not enough to wet your whistle, Poker Stars offers a five-level VIP program, each level of which contains various benefits. So the more you play, the more you gain. That’s pretty hard to beat.

Rick “Stone Face” Ellers started playing poker while he was a paratrooper stationed in Fort Bragg, NC. He currently writes part time for PokerListings.com where you can learn about the exciting World Series of Poker and find great information about Online Poker Rooms.

Most pool supply distributors can offer an astounding selection of algaecides and clarifiers for your swimming pool, and if you do not understand how they work, or what their uses are, it can be difficult to make the right choice.

Pool algaecide should be added to your swimming pool on a daily basis if you regularly experience problems with algae growing in your pool. If you have not ever had an algae problem in your swimming pool, there is no need for the algaecide pool chemical. Local pool stores and less honest pool supply dealers will sell an algaecide chemical to treat an existing algae growth. Once algae has grown in your swimming pool, the only pool chemical that will kill it is pool shock. Algaecide is only a preventative measure, and will do nothing to treat an existing problem.

Pool algaecide is either a copper based formula, or what is commonly referred to as a “quat” or “polyquat” algaecide. Copper based algaecides use copper to treat and prevent algae growth, and can be used against all types of algae. Copper algaecides will not cause foam in a swimming pool, which can be a problem when using “quat” algaecides. Although they are effective against many forms of algae, copper algaecides can cause stains on the surface of a swimming pool if the product is not used properly. Copper algaecides cannot be used in a swimming pool on a biguanide based sanitizing system (such as Baquacil or SoftSwim).

The “quat” or “polyquat” algaecides are quaternary ammonium compounds, which treat and prevent algae growth in a different way. These algaecides are safer to use than a copper based algaecide because they will not stain a swimming pool. If you have experienced any pool stains caused by metals in the past, you should use a quat or polyquat algaecide to treat your swimming pool. Although quats cannot cause staining, these algaecides may cause foaming if not used properly. Polyquat pool algaecides cannot cause staining or foaming, and are typically more expensive than the other forms of algaecides.

When pool water becomes dull or cloudy, and is not cleared by 12-24 hours of filtration, a pool clarifier chemical may be necessary to help the pool filter improve water conditions. If all chemical levels are properly balanced, the source of the problem is most likely fine debris suspended in the swimming pool water. Dust or debris particles are sometimes too small for the pool filter to remove from the pool water, and may pass directly through the pool filter. A sand filter provides the least efficient filtering of pool water, and this problem is more likely to occur when using a sand pool filter. A pool clarifier chemical will group together very fine particles of debris into larger bunches, which can be more easily trapped by the pool filter. Most pool clarifier chemicals cannot be used in a swimming pool with a D.E. (diatomaceous earth) filter.

Please visit In The Swim Discount Pool Supplies for a complete selection of quality pool supplies, including algaecide and pool clarifier.

Running an oboe reed business and all, I often get requests or inquiries about reeds and the desired tone they’ll produce. And while I agree that reeds play an important part in determining your sound on a given day, I am old-fashioned and in favor of hard work to get the tone you want!!

I’ll always think of my teacher, Richard Killmer, who could take your most crude, unfinished reed and make it sound amazing.

So, what’s the secret?

The secret is that your tone is your voice, and it can be developed and matured like any other voice.

As oboists, we are always so quick to blame the reed, or let the reed become our personality.

But your tone is your personality, and it will come through in your playing pretty much no matter what you do. But there certainly are steps you can take to refine your voice and make it sound more like the ideal sound you hear in your head.

The hard work you have to do is long tones!!

Not just any long tones, but mindful long tones. That means that for 15-30 minutes a day you concentrate and listen and notice all the subtleties of your sound.

You’ll spend hours (although they’ll fly by) trying to stop and start a note just the way you want it, and hours more slurring up and down between notes to get that seamless buttery-ness that comes from you, and not your reed.

Plugging in a great reed will never do you justice if you haven’t spent time on identifying your voice and refining it. The best part about working in this way is the rewards you will see slowly, but consistently over time.

You’ll probably struggle daily with long tones for a while, have bouts of frustration…..and then finally it will happen!!

You get to perform a Bach cantata, and you still feel like you are struggling. Someone gives you a recording, and although there is always stuff you’d like to do over, you notice a transformation of your sound!

It sounds effortless and liquid, just what you have been hearing in your ear for the last few months. Those moments make it all worth it because you have somehow transferred the voice you’ve had in your head to your oboe playing!

Just remember the rewards that you will reap from working hard to “find yourself” the next time you are in a reed slump. The reed is just the vehicle for a sound - your voice is what you make it.

Imagine a coworker and you have just delivered a report to senior management about a project on which you collaborated. As you leave the meeting, your coworker shakes his head and mutters “hope you’re happy”. Since then, he has barely acknowledged you. You are mystified by their attitude because the report was so well received by management. You decide to approach him, but don’t really know where to begin.

You can unravel the mystery of conflict by 1) understanding how people view such confrontations and 2) by using conversation skills to get to the root of the conflict.

First, remember that in conflict, each person has their story. People tend to see themselves as either the innocent victim or perhaps the righteous hero. They cast their adversary, of course, as the villain. Attachment to these roles results in conversations that quickly regress to debates or outright confrontations: a verbal thrust and parry in which judgement is met by justification. People expend tremendous energy and create significant drama, but at the end of the day feel like they’ve gone in circles with little understanding or identification of the real issue.

Stories consist of three basic elements: plot, characters, and theme. In conflict, these equate to: 1) what happened; 2) how it impacted the person; and 3) what need of theirs was unmet or threatened. To begin to explore someone’s conflict story, ask yourself “when did the knife go in?” for them. This metaphor represents the point of wounding - when they saw themselves as the victim (and pegged you as the villain). In some cases, the inciting incident will be obvious, but other times you will need to uncover it.

Second, use open-ended questions to peel back the layers of their conflict story. Used strategically, open questions help you discover why someone is upset and what they need to move forward. Of course, these questions must be accompanied by curiosity, because a question such as “what on earth were you thinking?” will understandably foster defensiveness. Rather, ask genuine questions to uncover new information and to encourage the other person to talk about what went on for them. As they verbalize their story you can learn not only when “the knife” went in for them, but also the impact events have had on them and what (unmet) need is fueling their frustration.

The following two tips will ensure your questions are helpful and productive. Remember to paraphrase the answers you receive to demonstrate you understand their perspective. This also provides balance to the conversation so your questions do not come across as an interrogation. Also, let the other person know why you are asking your question. Even an open question will spark some defensiveness as the other person wonders “why does he/she want to know?” You will significantly reduce defensiveness when you provide a context for your question by telling the other person why you are asking it and how the information will be useful.

In the example above, you might start by noting the lack of communication or feelings of tension, letting them know you want to try to work things out, and asking simply “what’s up?” In many cases, their reply will let know who not only what happened, but how it affected them (”you grab all the credit for our work and you ask me what the problem is?!”) In other cases, you may need to probe further “what was it about the meeting that upset you?” or “what went on for you during the meeting?” As you begin to peel the layers of their story, listen for their unmet need. When you uncover it, confirm you have it right: “so from your perspective, I received the credit - and you want to ensure that you get fair recognition for your contribution to the project”.

While this is by no means the end of the conversation, this discovery provides a foundation for deeper understanding and, eventually, resolution. From a relationship perspective, you build empathy when you demonstrate you understand both the events in question and the impact of those events on the other person. From a resolution perspective, you have identified one of the key components for a collaborative solution (in this case, recognition and fairness.)

So when confronted by conflict, resist the urge to proclaim your own story. Instead, put your perspective temporarily on the back burner and focus on discovering “when the knife went in”. You may find that what seems to be an insoluble conflict is really “elementary, my dear Watson.”

Gary Harper is the author of The Joy of Conflict Resolution: Transforming Victims, Villains and Heroes in the Workplace and at Home. For “Tips on Probing” and other information on conflict resolution, visit Gary’s website at http://www.joyofconflict.com/

“Presently, 40% of all first marriages in this country end in divorce. 60% of all second marriages and 75% of third marriages fail as well.” -Dr. Gary Chapman

Common sense leads us to believe that we should learn from our mistakes and the percentages should decrease with each new marriage. Do you think individuals get worse at being married? Do people give too easily or don’t they get it? I believe these statistics point to our communication inadequacies and our lack of understanding of love.

What happens to love after the honeymoon? Love changes and these changes go unnoticed until it is too late. Couples give up and are unwilling to spend the time necessary to resuscitate the love. It has become too easy and too common place to simply trade in your spouse and set out to find a new one. “Why invest time and energy in making it work?” I say, “Look beyond today and envision the payoff of tomorrow.”

“More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” –Doug Larson

In coaching my clients, I have found that if we explore other “investment” scenarios, we can look at marriage in a more productive light. Most of us have purchased and owned a new car. As in our relationships and marriages, buying and owning a car takes effort and responsibility.

First, you recognize that you have a need for a new car. Next, you explore the market. You examine your likes, dislikes and what features are important to you. Then, you begin the shopping process. You test drive a few and sometimes several cars, constantly rethinking your needs. You are hoping to find that perfect car that fits the image in your mind; the comfort of the seat, the beauty of the vehicle inside and outside and the warranty. It must have a good warranty. When you have explored all the pros and cons, you make the commitment.

The day of purchase it feels like the car was built just for you. You take it home and you feel great. In the beginning, you take superb care of that car. You keep it clean and polished. You drive it just for the fun of it. Just being in the car makes you feel wonderful. The car is a priority. Then gradually you spend less time in the car, wash it less often and the new car smell disappears. It begins to lose its luster. Your interest and effort begins to diminish. What is happening?

Overtime, you take the car to the mechanic and he tells you that the vehicle is in need of repairs. Your first question is, “How much will the repairs cost?” You wonder, “Is it time to trade in the car?” Do you feel that you have had enough and that it is time to make a trade? I challenge you to hang in there and make a few repairs. One of the most commonly sited causes for divorce in this country is irreconcilable differences. That is a nice, legal term for “we give up”, “it is not worth the effort” or “I’d like to trade this model for a new one.”

What does it take to get beyond the newness and commit to working together to build a lasting relationship? It takes time, energy, understanding and a high level of responsibility and commitment from both parties. Love is cyclic with numerous peaks and valleys. There will be times in your marriage when you “feel” love towards one another and others when you do not. Love is not a feeling. Love is an action. In the times when you do not feel love towards your spouse are the exact times when you should behave “lovingly” to them. I believe in love, but I also know that it will not always be roses, chocolate strawberries and fairy tale romance. A lasting marriage can be accomplished. The “feelings” will return.

“One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until maybe you fall in love again.” -Judith Viorst

In a strong, respectful and communicative marriage, you work together to minimize the valleys. It is during the valleys that we face our toughest challenges but also our greatest opportunities for growth. How can you minimize the valleys and spend more time amongst the peaks? Sadly enough, most couples fail to act until they find themselves in the bottom of the valley. Repairs are responses to problems. It is while we are in the peak, in a position of strength, that we should be performing preventative maintenance on our relationships. This will lead to marital strength not only during the good times, but also during the difficult ones.

I would like to share with you two very necessary requirements for a successful marriage. They are to understand your love language and make respectful requests.

I. Understand Your Love Language

Many times the loss of love in a marriage is not based on emotion, but a misunderstanding of what makes each individual feel loved. It is extremely common for couples to have different definitions of love. How do you communicate love to your spouse? In turn, what does your spouse do that makes you feel loved?

There are a variety of different images of love and how it is displayed. I see this quite often in my own life. My wife’s nickname for me is “Usefulman”. She teases, but I know that when I do things around the house or fix something that is in need of repair, she feels loved. For her, it is not the gifts that I give her; it is the efforts I make to take care of things for her.

For years, I thought that giving gifts showed my wife how much I loved her. While my intentions were valiant, gifts were not the things that made her feel loved. What I discovered was that I must show her love in a way that makes her feel loved, in her love language. The gifts were nice gestures, but they were not meeting her love expectations.

When we moved and bought a new house, I started spending more time around the house fixing or improving things and I discovered how this made my wife feel. She made a variety of comments, all of which were very loving. My understanding of this has helped us grow closer.

It is very important that you discover your love language and the love language of your spouse. Share each of the times when you felt most loved. With an open mind, be receptive to your spouse and his or her needs. Learn when to offer gifts and when your spouse needs a compliment. Do not offer intimacy, when he or she is looking for conversation.

In my practice, I use a great exercise to help couples discover their love languages. Find a quiet space and write a love letter to your spouse. Each of you should do this. Start each letter with “I love you because….” Then write your spouse another letter, “I feel most loved when you….” Both of you should write this letter and share it with each other. These letters will help you develop an understanding of each other’s love language and when you are meeting each other’s needs. It is imperative to know what things you do that make your spouse feel loved. Once you have shared the letters, make an effort to add what you have learned into your marriage. You might be surprised at the result.

II. Make Respectful Requests

The way you share each other’s desires is critical to the success of your relationship. If they come across as demanding, you do not stand a chance. Ultimatums must be replaced with respectful requests. Remember, you are ultimately responsible for your own happiness.

When you offer respectful requests, you create opportunities for necessary growth and development. For example, instead of speaking like this:

“It has been two years since you have taken me anywhere. I sure hope that it will not take another two years for you to make time for us. You do not care about our relationship anymore.”

Make a respectful request:

“I really enjoy when we make time to sneak away for a long weekend and spend some quality time together. Do you think that we could find some time for a getaway this month?”

The second request is a respectful, loving request. The first is more of an effort to criticize the other person and is clearly demanding. It forces your spouse into a defensive position. Such demands create distance and destroy intimacy. Here is another scenario. Which one will generate a loving response?

“Honey, do you think that you will be able to paint the guest room this weekend?”

Or:

“Since you can’t seem to find the time to get it done, I am going to have to waste some money and hire someone to get the guest room painted.”

This reminds me of the old saying, “you’ll attract more flies with honey.” I guarantee that if you make respectful and loving requests of your spouse, you will see results; but, do not kid yourself. Give your spouse a little time to process the request. Making a respectful request only to follow it with a demand for action is a waste of everyone’s time and energy. Be patient; you are trying to build a foundation here.

When you make requests, you offer options or choices, just as love is a choice. Allow your partner opportunities to choose to love you. Love is an action. Focus on requests that build your love and not on communications that destroy it. Learn to realize that when your spouse cares enough for you to respond to your requests, it will draw you closer to one another. It will create a stronger bond and increase your levels of intimacy.

“I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we never married at all.” - Lord Byron

Add these two powerful elements into your marriage: learn your spouse’s love language and make respectful requests. Use them to create an environment that reinforces and cherishes love. First, fall in love then stay there. It takes a strong effort by both husband and wife to experience the joys of a successful marriage. Seek out ways together to create the love of your future.

Love Language, “Five Love Languages”Dr. Gary Chapman

Anthony Mullins is the President and Life Coach for The Elite Coaching Alliance. He specializes in personal, leadership, marriage, relationship and family, christian based coaching. He is the author of the upcoming e-book “Finding Fulfillment in and Unfulfilling World”. He can be reached by e-mail: anthony@elitecoachingalliance.com or by phone at 770.587.3545. Visit our new website http://www.elitecoachingalliance.com

Honda ties up with SELEV, “Study of Extremely Low Emission
Vehicles”, a Riverside program hosted by the University of
California, which shows the advantage of upgrading the internal
combustion engine technology in the reduction of vehicle
emissions. Several years ago, this reduction to some level has
been conceived impossible but due to the advancements in
technology nowadays everything is made possible and tangible to
some extent.

Two years ago, this program has been launched primarily for the
dwindling environmental condition as the main reason. Among the
concerned partners of SELEV are the U.S Environmental Protection
Agency (EPA), the California Air Resources Board (CARB), and the
Manufacturers of Emission Controls Association. The university’s
College of Engineering Center for Environmental Research and
Technology (CE-CERT) spearheads this innovative research. The
study has been endowed by at least $10 million from Ford as a
donation. The amount has been of great help for the researchers
in their tactics of finding ways of lessening the fuel emissions
of the new-generation vehicles so as not to add up with the
already degrading air pollution that poses great risk to the
people’s health.

Going environment-friendly, no wonder, Honda Motors Corporation
continues to launch and introduce to the buying public
low-emission vehicles such as that of the latest Honda Accord
and the rest of the new-generation vehicles in its fleet. Due to
the successful study and promotion of the technology that tests
vehicle emissions at lower levels, another milestone in the
automotive era poses significant measures and likewise
challenges the entire realm of auto manufacturers in the
automobile world.

“Ten years ago, nobody thought gasoline ULEVS and SULEVs would
be possible,” says Dr. Joseph Norbeck, director of CE-CERT. “Now
they’re becoming common, and it’s clear the emissions reductions
they offer are significant.” This SELEV project allows car
engineers, designers, and manufacturers the understanding of the
improvement in air quality when new-generation vehicles possess
extremely low emissions, thus, give off less dangerous
pollutants that could harm the environment and the people
therein.

Shopping for your Honda parts has been tremendously made easy by
the easy-to-navigate site provided by the trusted and leading
replacement, OEM, and aftermarket parts factory that does
business online. A hassle-free and convenient shopping
experience is very well catered to by Parts Train. The friendly
and professional car parts representatives await your call for
your orders over their hotlines. Visit this site
http://www.partstrain.com/ShopByVehicle/HONDA and purchase your
Honda parts. At Parts Train, the car parts you wish to have are
offered in affordable prices and the shipping is guaranteed to
be fast, safe and secure.

A short generation ago, families could set their watch by the time the father got home from work each day. My dad always walked through the front door at precisely 6 PM and supper was served at 6:10. We’d all sit around the table discussing the events of the day and then go out on the street to spend time with the neighbors when the kitchen chores were done.

On hot summer nights my parents would sit on the veranda with a cool soft drink and spray the kids with a hose as we darted about the front lawn. Life was simple then - but not anymore!

Who among us has not felt a little betrayed by George Jetson’s vision of what the future was ’supposed’ to be? We all know the Jetsons was just a cartoon but it did entice us into believing the workday of the future would only be a few hours, sitting in a comfy chair, pushing a couple buttons, while the lovely-wife got even lovelier, spending most of her time at the beauty salon. He lied to us!

The sad reality is the future we live in today is the exact opposite of Mr Jetson’s. Fathers work harder, longer and with more responsibilities and stress than any generation in all of history. Mothers have little time to get lovelier because they’re trying to balance the needs of the children along with a full-time job.

Most families don’t sit around the dinner table anymore because they’re all on different schedules, stressed to the teeth, just trying to keep up with this generation’s pace of life.

Is it any wonder then, it’s not uncommon anymore to see near epidemic numbers of people succumbing to stress related illnesses? Current studies in Canada and the USA purport one in four people in North America are ‘currently’ suffering from some form of Chronic Fatigue or Chronic Depression. They also predict that eight out of ten people in the current generation and the one to follow, will fall victim to chronic illnesses like these, in their lifetime. Tragically too, many of them will never recover!

The financial impact from stress related illnesses is alleged to be in the Billions of Dollars with devastating effects on business and healthcare costs. But there is still a larger issue for chronic fatigue or depression sufferers. The social safety nets aren’t there. In fact, chronic depression is still politically and socially misunderstood and society has very little empathy-appetite for it.

For many, someone with CFS [Chronic Fatigue Syndrome] or Chronic Stress-Related Depression, is simply a lazy malingerer. They are not to be believed or coddled. “Suck it up soldier! And get back to work!” All they need is a kick in the pants. Right?….WRONG!

I can tell you from my own experience that those who fall victim to diseases like these, are Not Faking it! They are Not Malingerers! They Don’t need a Kick in the Pants, but they Do need understanding, the right treatment and our help.

How do I know? In 1991 I fell victim to CFS at a time when the medical profession had no idea what it was or how to treat it. Back then they called it the Yuppie Flu. I had it for nine excruciating months and it nearly devastated me and my family.

In the last couple of decades, too many overworked and stressed out people are falling victim to what’s now referred to as CFIDS [Chronic Fatigue Immune Deficiency Syndromes]. These diseases are motivated by stress but are also virally motivated like in my case where I was eventually diagnosed with the Epstein Bar Virus.

Substantial advancements have been made since the 90’s but what troubles me is that sufferers still endure social indignities associated with idlers and are often judged by others and the companies they work for as phonies. Stigmas like these only exacerbate the already daunting challenge sufferers face should they, in fact, ever make a full recovery.

For that reason [and at the risk of appearing self promoting] I wrote a book entitled, “Until You’ve Walked the Path”. I could go on about it but instead I’ll just provide some of what’s written on the back cover.

[Back Cover]

THE BATTLE BACK TO HEALTH from CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME or CHRONIC DEPRESSION … CAN BE WON! … But not without HOPE and not without HELP!

……………………………………..

Experience in vivid detail the real-life challenges of a young family man who became stricken in 1991 by a mysterious illness best known at the time as the ‘Yuppie Flu’. A straight-commissioned salesman with no medical benefits and a wife and child to feed, Failure for him was never an option.

Witness first hand the day-to-day struggles he endured that included long bouts of depression, excruciating muscle pain and exhaustion that caused him to sleep 24 to 48 hours at a time.

Read about how, throughout his ordeal, he managed to maintain Hope and a Positive Attitude that in the end were the catalysts required in finding new ways to battle a disease that in the early 90’s society alleged was no disease at all.

Rejoice with him when you discover he did eventually triumph over his illness and went on to accomplish something nearly everyone - at times even he - believed impossible!

This book is a no-nonsense layman’s real-life look at how sufferers are affected by CFIDS and more importantly, steps they or caregivers could and should take to ensure speedy recovery.

People suffering CFIDS as well as caregivers will benefit from the logical and pragmatic information the author shares based on his own debilitating experience with the disease.

The advice is credible, insightful and thought provoking with an unfailing dedication to one critical message: “There IS HOPE for YOU or the one you HOPE to HELP!”

I won’t shy away from the fact that by writing the book I hoped to make it a best seller. On the other hand, I know there are too many sufferers out there who need to better understand what’s going on with their health and are desperately looking for a proven formula or strategy to help them get better.

For more information regarding Until You’ve Walked the Path and/or ways to purchase it before it hits the major book stores, please send an email to paulshearstone@rogers.com.

About The Author

Paul Shearstone aka The ‘Pragmatic Persuasionist’ is one of North America’s foremost experts on Sales and Persuasion. An International Keynote Speaker, Author, Writer, Motivation, Corporate Ethics, / Time & Stress Management, Recruiting Specialist, Paul enlightens and challenges audiences as he informs, motivates and entertains. To comment on this article or to book the Pragmatic Persuasionist for your next successful event we invite to contact Paul Shearstone directly @ 416-728-5556 or 1-866-855-4590 www.success150.com or paul@success150.com.

Have you always wanted to do embroidery but can’t seem to work your way around needles? Have you always wanted to create dazzling, embroidered patterns but never find the time to actually sit down and do it by hand? Then let the machine do it for you! That’s right - with the right machine and the right embroidery software, you will be well on you way to making exquisite, embroidery work in no time at all.

Embroidery software products have become so technologically advanced that even professional embroiderers, clothes designers and other people in similar professions admit to using them. Embroidery software facilitates everything in full automation - from the start (designing the pattern) to finish (output is ready to be fed to embroidery machine). It makes everything quick and easy - just draw a pattern, feed it into the machine and voila! The work is done.

Now, you too can create professional-looking embroidery work using your computer. Just install the software, and in a click of your mouse you can choose from among modules. Choose the designs, materials and threads, styles, sizes, etc. After designing, you can view the output in 3D designs or n have it printed. Feed the design into the embroidery machine and watch as it stitches your pattern to perfection. That’s how easy it is!

The only downside of embroidery software is that it can be very expensive. But if you think there is no other option, you can’t be more wrong!

There are a lot of discount software stores carrying embroidery software products. Affordable embroidery software products are actually right under your nose! Do not buy the first cheap embroidery software you see. Remember to check with the dealer first. Ask questions about software support, return policies and shipping and handling costs before you purchase.