DVD Recorders Become Popular

August 1st, 2008 by Administrator

It is harmless to say that the period of the video cassette recorder is steadily on its approach out and drawing to a close, video recorder could still be all around for a long time & it is good to notice how legions of individuals actually still own them and watch their soaps on them. The piece of equipment which is key for every couple to have is the fantastic DVD player, which is gradually now branching out to the Digital Versatile Disc Recorder. When DVD recorders were first built they were incredibly expensive. Prices reduced on Panasonic DVD Recorder at Sound and Vision!

It is now possible to pick up a really cut price DVD Recorder if you look hard enough & do a little research. Folks get perplexed with the distinctions between a DVD recorders and DVD burners; they are 2 completely different pieces of technology, although they do produce DVD’s with burning via a laser to a blank DVD disk. Any Digital Versatile Disc recorders can record from any analogue video source, the majority can record film from digital camcorders via firewire.

The sensational thing now is that DVD recorders have under no circumstances been so low-cost and so it’s realistic for you to acquire a top of the range system for a really cheap price. The electronics industry is motivated by the newest equipment, new improvements & product quality, of which these are varying virtually every fortnight.

Some of the top brands for DVD recorders at the moment are Tannoy, Toshiba and Panasonic, but if you’re waiting for the very best of the best & you don’t mind spending a little further to get something extremely special then you will only go for the Vivance Digital Versatile Disc recorder, this really is top of the line & there are lots of various ones to choose from. Your next prime decision after deciding what brand is whether you want one that has a fantastic hard drive installed in it like the Skullcandy one.

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Authentic Spirituality: Pure and Undefiled Religion

June 10th, 2008 by Administrator

Because of the bright lights behind me, the golf balls themselves appeared to be glowing that night as they flew through the air. I couldn’t avoid hearing a loud voice over the clicking of clubs hitting golf balls. I’d seen him there before and we’d talked golf. Tonight his balding head reflected the lights of the driving range nearly the same way the golf balls did in flight. But it wasn’t his shiny head that was annoying me, it was his foul mouth.

It seemed he couldn’t describe any event without using profane adjectives. He walked from one person to another telling golf stories, casting himself as the hero. Finally, a few feet away, his attention focused on me. “Are you still knocking the *%#* outta the ball?” he asked. I forced a smile, “I’m hitting pretty good,” I said hoping he would just keep walking. He didn’t. Instead he began telling me why he chose to be at the driving range even though his wife wanted to spend time with him. Using filthy language, he told me men should “stand up” to their wives and do “whatever they wanted to do.”

Growing tired of his nonsense, I decided it was time to get rid of him. I waited until he finished lecturing about husbands and wives before saying, “I work for a Christian marriage ministry.” I hit 3 golf balls during the awkward silence that followed.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

“Ya know, people come to me for marriage help all the time,” he began. “Why it was just the other day that…” His previous stories of his heroism shifted from haughty to holy. He told me about his church and that he encouraged new members to make friends with visitors. He told me about couples he counseled in his church. He told me that nothing mattered without Jesus. “Sometimes the best time to minister to others is while golfing,” he said. At this point the awkward silence made it’s re-entrance. I think we both felt the hypocrisy in his words. He politely closed with small talk and walked away. I returned to hitting golf balls into the black sky.

It’s not a difficult application. James 3:10-12 says, “Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”

The Best Sermon is…

We should always strive to live spiritually authentic lives. What we are in private and what we are in public should be similar. We can’t expect the world to give credit to our testimonies of faith while we are both witnesses of Christ and puppets of profanity.

Authentic spirituality doesn’t happen over night. Just like physical strength, spiritual strength takes exercise and time. Our walk with Christ is not defined by rare strokes of spiritual brilliance; consistent effort and prayer define it.

Paul said in 2 Timothy 4:2 & 5, “Proclaim the message: be persistent whether the time is favorable or unfavorable; convince, rebuke, and encourage, with the utmost patience in teaching.”

“As for you, always be sober, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, carry out your ministry fully.”

As Christians, we are held to high standards. We represent Christ. We represent His Church. Though we are not perfect, the Bible says that we should be “imitators of God” (Ephesians 5:1). The journey is long and the goal is a lofty one, but the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to challenge us to it.

Are you up for the challenge? It begins by imitating Jesus.

-Lee Wilson

Lee Wilson is on staff at Family Dynamics Institute. Family Dynamics attempts to prevent marriage problems by helping couples who are already in troubled marriages and by teaching those in good marriages to prevent major issues before they happen. Lee combats marriage problems from another angle with his web site for Christian singles by helping them find compatibility in possible marriage candidates. Lee hopes that his efforts will help to decrease the divorce rate around the world. Lee also runs a web publication for Christians called Grace-Centered Magazine that includes a Christian message forum.

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Healing With Colour

June 6th, 2008 by Administrator

As a society, we are shifting into a time where once again, we have the information and training available to us to take responsibility for our own health and quality of life. One of the easiest healing modalities that exists is Colour Healing.

How It Works

Colour Healing comes under the umbrella of the Vibrational Healing Techniques. These techniques are all based on the premise that everything vibrates and that there is an optimal vibrational level for physical and emotional wellbeing and if that vibration changes, (for example, due to trauma or interference from other vibrational sources such as electromagnetic fields) illness and a loss of well being will occur. Vibrational Healing is the art of using standard vibrations such as those emanating from colour and sound to restore the individual’s own vibrations to good health and well being

The best thing about Colour Healing is that at it’s simplest, everyone can use it, (and often do without being aware of it) and it can make a huge difference to your well being to do so.

Next you will learn of some methods of and exercises for working with Colour Healing. Some of the exercises are based on visualisation, however, if you are not a visual person, you can still do this work. Instead of ’seeing’ the colours, you can ‘feel’ them or ‘know’ that they are there, very simply, it is your intention that brings that level of vibration in, so please don’t hesitate to work with it just because you are not visually inclined.

Methods of Colour Healing

Breathing In The Colour

You can do this work sitting or lying, as long as you are comfortable. We will work with the cleansing colour of white, later in the article you will find a list of colours and their benefits and contra-indications.

Focus on your breathing, slowing your breathing right down until you feel completely relaxed. Feel your breath pouring in to your body and then pouring out. When you feel ready, start to imagine that you are surrounded by a field of beautiful, sparkling white light. Every time you breath in, the light floods through your body, pouring into all areas, even to the ends of your toes and fingers. Concentrate on any areas of tension or illness, and make sure extra energy floods those areas. Feel the problem areas as though they are knotted and locked up so that normal blood flow or energy flow cannot access them. See the White, soaking into these areas, and imagine the areas opening up, flushing out the garbage that has built up there. You’ll know it’s complete when the area you are focused on has returned to normal in your mind. You may have to do this daily or every few days, until all of the residue has left.

When you are finished, take your time, move around slowly until you have come back fully from the healing work you’ve completed.

Colour Water

If the visualisation work is too complex for you, or you prefer a simpler method of healing, try creating vibrational colour essences. For this work you will need either coloured glass bottles or cover glass bottles with celophane of the desired colour/s. You will also need good quality bottled water. This is a simple version of creating colour essences, but it works well.

Water is a neutral medium, which will take on the vibrations of whatever is around it. So by placing water in a coloured bottle and standing it in the sun, the suns rays will shine through the colour, into the water, and the water will take on the vibrations emanations. It is important not to have the bottle standing near anything that emits electromagnetic waves such as electrical equipement. Otherwise the water will also absorb those vibrations which are not healthy for human consumption.

The method is simple, pour the water in the bottle and place it somewhere that will receive full sun. Leave the bottle out for 24 hours whilst the sun can shine through the bottle and colour, so that the water can fully absorb the vibrations.

When the water is ready, you can simply pour it into another receptacle so that you can set the bottle to create more ‘colour water’. Have a glass of the water around you at all times and sip throughout the day. As you are doing this, monitor your feelings and actions, as colour water can bring about very strong reactions. If that happens, suspend drinking the ‘colour water’ and drink ‘normal’ water for a while.

Colour Board

If you belong to a healing group, try this exercise. From a newsagent, buy several sheets of the large coloured cardboard. Choose a range of colours, and include basics such as white, black, gold, silver, orange, blue, red, green and so on. Have one person lie on the table and close their eyes whilst the other places one of the cardboard sheets over their main body (face down if the colour is only on one side). Hold for a minute or two whilst the recipient adjusts to the new colour then ask them to describe, what, if any sensations or emotions they are feeling. After some practice with this, you may find yourself drawn to using a particular colour for someone, this is an indication of you tuning in to the healing needs of that person.

Clothes and Home Decoration

Finally, by simply wearing different coloured t-shirts, scarves and other apparel, you will attuning your energy to the colour youa re wearing. Decorating your home with specificly coloured paints, rugs and furniture etc will also affect the mood of your home and your life.

Consider this chart when choosing your colours. The contra-indications show when the colours should not be used - for example, red should not be used if the person suffers from anger problems, a deeper pink (red mixed with white) may be a more appropriate alternative.

  • White - purification, cleansing, connecting to angels,

  • Pale Pink - love, contra-indication - vulnerability,
  • Red - passion, romance, empowerment, contra-indication - rage
  • Orange - creativity
  • Blue - calming, peace, contra-indication - depression
  • Green - calming, healing, peace.
  • Brown - earthiness, groundedness
  • Yellow - uplifting, brightness, intellect, study
  • Purple - spirituality, meditation, higher thought
  • Gold - Healing, connecting to the Highest Vibration
  • Silver - The Goddess, deep magic, contra-indications - depression

The most important method of selecting colours is to tune in to your own intuitive sense of what is right for you. Don’t assume that you need to stay with the one colour, instead, check regularly (perhaps once a fortnight) to see what colour you are meant to be working with at that time. Take your time exploring Colour Healing and enjoy contributing to your Good Health and Wellbeing.

Daniella Breen - EzineArticles Expert Author

Daniella Breen, B.Sc. (Psych) has been working as a professional metaphysical healer and teacher for nine years. She runs the on-line Shaman Goddess College for metaphysical training http://p105.ezboard.com/bshamangoddesstrainingcentre

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Everything You Need to Know in Point of On Line Gaming Halls & Roulette

May 29th, 2008 by Administrator

The distress involved in visiting a brick and mortar offline gaming room can be enough reason to give up on it if you can avoid it. It isn’t required to go out to go for online video poker or related games for the simple reason that it can be easily accessed from your living room assuming you possess a functional personal computer and, obviously, an Internet access account. Yet, before you’re getting all excited, there are several guidelines and things that you will want to figure out about online video poker or related games, particularly so if you are still inexperienced in this realm.

Try all the best online flash casinos games at this top venue.

The first thing that you as a keen Internet risk taker would definitely chase out is an online video poker or related games web site of the category that can guarantee high winnings. Make certain the online video poker or related games web site is monitored by an honest accounting company to inspect the specific online games pay-out percentage routinely. Always take care to make certain that the virtual card playing web site is actually licensed, e.g. by probing the license information as corroborated on the casino webpage. Should you be unable to determine any license information on a given virtual card playing web site, do not attempt any games of luck with this webpage.

Moreover, another material tip is obviously to place a wager for beginners in petty amounts in place of loosing more than does you good right away. First of all, check the integrity of this specific virtual card playing structure rather than triggering any serious hazard- particularly so in terms of money… Here’s another eminent prompt about online gambling casino. It can obviously only be this- to never forget that online betting is merely about fun and amusement and much less about big dollars. Betting in online casinos isn’t a chore, but a leisure pursuit that should help you feel happy and life as a whole pleasing. And now, having kept to the above recommendations, you can go and give yourself up to the temptation of virtual card playing… :)

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Online Dating Software

May 28th, 2008 by Administrator

Do you friends consider you a matchmaker? Do you have at least one couple you are friends with whom you set up? If you care about couples and are the matchmaking type, you could be next in line for your own business.

Online dating services get hits on the internet. It’s a fact that the keyword search for online dating got over 900,000 hits when recently researched.

When you download free online dating software and set up your own business, you get paid by the hit. You also get paid when one of your members contacts another member. You run the show, tracking your members in the database and setting up matches via the application process.

Want to streamline your website for singles? You can have a website specifically designed for senior online dating, interracial online dating, or an international online dating website that matches people from around the world.

A free online dating website is set up as a confidential, member’s only website wherein either males or females are free to join. Or the weekly information update is free. You may also offer as part of the membership fee profile creation and internal mail, where one party who would like to contact another may do so confidentially through you. This lessens the chance of cyber stalking and increases the member’s feelings of security when using your site.

Dating services online and especially free online dating services have grown tremendously since the internet first began. Adult dating online can be done in the privacy of ones own home, and decreases the possibility of meeting some one for the first time in an uncomfortable or potentially dangerous situation. Online dating software is being upgraded constantly, and is safer than ever for users. The best part is that hosting adult dating services online costs around $40.00 a month.

So be your own boss and host an online dating website for pennies a day!

Erick Shipmon has been an online marketer since 1997. He currently is the President of www.eDatingPlanet.com which is quickly becoming the hottest online dating community on the planet. eDatingPlanet.com online dating services include: E-mail, Live Chat, Live Video Cam, and FREE VoIP calling.

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Biodiesel

May 1st, 2008 by Administrator

Going climate friendly is something that is going to concern us all in the next eight years. We have Eco Travel, Electric Driven Cars and Bio Fuels to look at now.

There are different varieties of Bio Fuels. Biological Diesels are mainly plant based alternatives to oil- based fuels such as petrol, diesel & cooking oil. Using biodiesel emits C02, nonetheless this is counteracted with the fact that the crop used to generate it uses C02 from across the climate to develop. Even so the environmental advantages of Biological Fuels are hotly thrashed out, with some climate friendly specialists claiming that Bio Fuels cause more harm than good. There are many two real sorts of Bio Diesel and Ethanol. Reduce chemicals going into your environment with Biodiesel.

As the type implies, biodiesel is designed for use in diesel tanks. Bio Diesel is very alike to veg oil and is generated from the identical varieties of plants- oil rich sources such as sun flower, palm, rapeseed and groundnut. Biodiesel might also be created from cow fat or oils taken from Danish cuisine restaurants. Biodiesel and fuels might be used smart in some diesel engines, but nevertheless, at present Biodiesel is much more regularly reflected in a mixture with normal diesel- commonly six percent biodiesel with diesel fuel. This recipe might well be tried by any diesel engine.

Ever thought about obtaining a environmentally friendly car? There are many 2 types the G WIZ and the Mega City. The above mentioned are genuinely climate friendly machines; in fact the electric cars is an environmental dream. Electric automobiles do not fabricate any C02 emissions in fact more to the point Bio Diesels cars do not even have an emission pipe. Because you power an eco friendly car from renewable energy, it produces no emissions. Though this battery car has various pros it does have some disadvantages as well. The apparent one being it is a environmentally friendly car and it might often only do 99 miles before you may have to charge up the car battery & all this in general has to be powered up over night, if you’re scheduling on doing a long tour, this may have to be finished over the course of several days.

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Interview with Dennis Edwards, Author of “The Caduceus”

April 14th, 2008 by Administrator

Reader Views is happy to chat with Dennis Edwards.
In his recent novel he has the reader realizing that
“water” could be the “oil” of the next 100 years, an
issue too real to be fiction. Welcome to Reader
Views Dennis.

Juanita: You have written a very thought provoking and intriguing novel. It weaves a fictional tale
around current environmental/political/social issues. What inspired you to write “The Caduceus”?

Dennis: First, I am fascinated by a small town in northern Arkansas called Eureka Springs that has
62 identified springs. Starting in the late 1800’s, people from all over flocked to the area for healing.
One day during my visit to Eureka Springs, The Caduceus was “hatched” when five water issues
that I had been mulling over came together in story form: (1) the world’s declining water supplies;
(2) the government’s current method of supplying the military with water in Iraq–bottled water;
(3) the stories I continued to hear of healing using Eureka’s spring water; (4) a conspiracy that I
perceived was developing around the enormous profits by water bottling companies enhanced by a
worldwide lack of regulation of that industry; and (5) the legends that surround the Caduceus as a
symbol and as an ancient healing device.

Juanita: Please tell us what exactly a Caduceus is and how it is used in your book.

Dennis: A Caduceus is one or two snakes wound around some type of rod. It is both an ancient
symbol for healing and a healing device. Many branches of the medical profession use the Caduceus
as their symbol. In my book the main character, Francis Allenton, a water scientist, builds a large
Caduceus modeled after an artifact he had been allowed to view in Greece. He believes that his
working Caduceus will enhance the healing properties of water drawn from a secret spring.

Juanita: The idea of the Caduceus being used as a healing device is very fascinating. Where did
this idea come from?

Dennis: Many sources: Greek legend tells of Asclepius, the father of medicine, using his staff to
rescue a snake in mortal combat with another. Grateful, the snake climbs his staff and tells him the
secrets of healing. The Romans had the staff of Hermes that had two snakes instead of one. Biblical
history relates Moses commanded by God to “build thee a fiery serpent and all those who touch it
shall be healed.” This was interpreted as a serpent of brass or copper fashioned around Moses’
staff and possessing healing properties. The Caduceus was worshipped for hundreds of years
following the Exodus. Another source goes back even further and says that the Caduceus was a
hieroglyph for an interstellar traveler who seeded the universe with life. Some note that the double
helix design of the Caduceus mimics the DNA molecule. Additionally, in a lab setting, a Caduceus
coil with copper wound around a ferrite core and energized has produced strange properties.

Juanita: Dennis, you have a passionate commitment to natural resources. Why do you think our
water supply is one of the front running issues we will be dealing with in the years to come? And,
is there any chance of stopping the exploitation of our natural waters?

Dennis: If you compare international oil and water profits, water already earns 40% as much as
petroleum. The scarcity of clean water is a serious issue. World wide changes in climate and
alterations in drinking water supplies impact all nations. As any thing essential for life becomes
scare, there are those who will profit from that scarcity. Men have known for a long time the value
of water or as Benjamin Franklin once said, “We know the worth of water when the well is dry.”

Juanita: With the obvious climate and environmental changes that are occurring, much fear is
being created surrounding these issues. Do you think any of these changes could be intently created
to induce fear in the public so a carefully crafted solution can be offered?

Dennis: Looking back over the past decade, it is certainly credible that people have been
manipulated to buy bottled water and not to trust their local water supply. Bottled water has created
a vast sea of cast-off plastic containers and disposal concerns. In reality, most municipal water
supplies are more regulated than bottled waters.

Juanita: Water is a hot topic issue here in the United States. Are other parts of the world
confronting these same problems?

Dennis: About six months ago Paris, France, was in the news when the city government initiated a
public relations campaign reassuring the citizens that their tap water was safe contrary to the
publicized advertising by water bottlers that it was somehow unsafe. Developing countries, including
many in Africa, are having tremendous difficulties obtaining clean water. Multinational concerns
have bought well rights and are pumping wells dry to make soft drinks and bottle water. The
indigenous people are losing water supplies to these companies and cannot grow crops or water
stock. The era of free water is quickly coming to an end.

Juanita: It is incredible that the bottled water industry has gone so long without addressing issues
regarding protecting the environment. From disposal concerns to depleting our water supplies, the
problems seem endless. Where can your readers get more information on these issues? And, please
give suggestions of what we can do right now to make a difference?

Dennis: Readers can find shocking statistics on the state of world and U. S. water interest at the
Earth Policy Institute (www.earth-policy.org) . People are paying 1, 364 % more for water than it
costs to make and bottle. Presently a gallon of premium water costs more than a gallon of premium
gas. National Resource Defense Council studies found many bottled waters to have significant
contamination. The International Council on Bottled Water Association (www.icbwa.org) provides
statistics on world wide use.

Some suggestions for immediate action: advocating for alterations in the type of plastic used for
bottled water might make some difference as the present containers are not designed for reuse.
Improving consumer awareness would also educate the public when making water purchases. The
differences between spring water, filtered water, mineral water and sports enhanced water are
vague and in some instances hard to determine. When possible, drink water from your tap. It is
likely more regulated and pure than bottled water. When dining out, request your server not to bring
water to the table unless you intend to drink it. Millions of gallons of clean water are poured down
sinks day after day in eating establishments. Many states in the U.S. Southwest have instituted water
conservation policies and programs that have excellent guidelines for protecting our water resources.

Juanita: The characters in your book find out that the water cartel is actually misusing Dr.
Allenton’s research by altering water to induce violent aggression. How real is the threat of water
weaponization and how concerned should we be?

Dennis: Studies have already been conducted abroad placing trace minerals in the water of
prisoners to alter moods. In the past, the U.S. military has experimented on enlisted men with
mind/mood altering substances. Historically, we can see that any scarce resource is an impetus for
conflict and there are people ready to profit from that scarcity. Just consider that the U.S. military’s
use of bottled water in Iraq. If you do the math using the 160,000 troops plus civilian workers, and
add the Iraqis whose water infrastructure has been gone since we bombed their cities, and all of
these consume several liters of bottled water per day, the amount of money already being spent on
bottled water is staggering. That much money coupled with little or no regulation spells opportunity
for the unscrupulous.

Juanita: We are living in a time that seems to be defined by war and fear. How real, in your
opinion, is the threat we hear in the media of the possibility of terrorists poisoning our water supply?

Dennis: Public water supplies may be vulnerable to attack by terrorists. Many public holding lakes
and reservoirs are unprotected. However, the larger threat to our water supply is the denigration of
public regard of cheap and available public water systems.
In times of national emergencies, a supply of bottled water is essential such as when all
capacity for public water was damaged following Hurricane Katrina. However, bottled water should
be a public health alternative, not a daily purchase.

Juanita: Dennis, your book will be enjoyed by a large cross-section of readers, from those
wanting an exciting mystery novel, to nature lovers and environmentalists, to those in the
‘conspiracy community.’ What thoughts would you like your readers to be left with after reading
your book? And, when can they expect the sequel?

Dennis: I would like readers to become aware and active in the future of water, both in their own
communities and abroad. In addition to the strong profit motives, little control over the bottled water
industry exists, and the cast off plastic containers are becoming a disposal problem. Only when
people become aware and active concerning the vanishing resources of our world, can we alter
policies and regulations. Water is taken for granted, yet water will soon become the petroleum of the
future.

I do not have a release date for the sequel “Ancient Water”. The setting for Dr. Francis Allenton is
Paris where he believes he can escape the water cartel. However, the cartel, especially Purlough,
and his new nemesis, Adam, play a continuing role in Francis’ endeavors. Cassidy joins Francis and
they share an intense concern for Mother Earth when water recovered from deep space may be
introduced to the world’s oceans. The entity that did not destroy Francis’ Caduceus continues to
hold it hostage. This second book explores the complexity of water in space. The belief that all
water on earth is stellar water has fueled much speculation about the origin of life on this planet, and
the search for life in space depends on sustainable, liquid water. We know that water is in space, a
comet is not much more than a vast dirty snow ball. The real question is: is space water H2O, water
as we know it on earth? “Ancient Water” examines these issues as well as grapples with the
consequences of trying to fix the world’s contaminated water supply.

Juanita: Thank you for your insightful interview and compelling novel. I’m sure your readers will
be on the edge of their seats anticipating the sequel. Do you have any last thoughts you would like
to share with your readers?

Dennis: We take water for granted yet nothing that lives on this earth could do so without liquid
water. Like many of our natural resources, clean, free water is becoming a relic of the past. It is not
too late to begin to change our consumer habits toward water. We often relegate water to no more
than a medium to carry human waste, yet when the availability of water declines, we realize our
absolute and complete dependency. At one time in our history, native people used spring water for
healing. It wasn’t that they felt somewhat better because they spent time in the water, water healed
them. Natural water, the stuff of life in the universe, still has that healing capacity, but only in clean,
naturally occurring deep water springs. We are made of water and we owe it respect.

Juanita Watson is the Assistant Editor for Reader Views
http://www.readerviews.com

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I Don’t Want To Do Christmas!

March 22nd, 2008 by Administrator

Marianne sat on the edge of her seat, leaning towards me and,
through her sobs and hiccoughs, stated very clearly, “I don’t
want to do Christmas!” “I can’t, I just can’t.”

Marianne was one of my clients, a middle-aged woman whose
husband had died the previous year. She had gone through the
first holiday season, one year ago, in a state of numbness after
the unexpected death of her husband in November.

As she looks back at that time, she realizes she had a kind of
protective cushion around her, with all the paperwork taking up
much of her time, as well as having a lot of family and friends
around to distract her from the silence and stillness.

Now, one year later, there are no more protective buffers
keeping her at bay from the intense feelings of grief, and the
loneliness. She, like many others, approaches the holidays with
anxiety and dread.

What You Can Do

First of all, you have more than two choices here. If you are
having a hard time facing the upcoming holidays, whichever ones
you celebrate, there are some guidelines to lessen your anxiety
and to make things easier on yourself.

You can choose to avoid the holidays altogether. This is
difficult, as there may be family and friends who become
burdensome with their need for more and more explanations
regarding your decision. However, if you decide you are going to
choose this route, plan something for yourself that will at
least have the potential for enjoyment. This could be holing up
in your house for a week, with your favorite foods, some rented
movies, and walks in the woods; it could be a trip to an exotic
land where you will have the distractions of foreign language,
foods and locale.

Be sure to alert your family and friends to your decision,
requesting that they give you the space to be alone and do what
you need to do. If, however, you are clinically depressed,
and/or suicidal, this option is a bad idea. Seek professional
help immediately. You deserve to feel better.

Option two is to do the holidays, but to do them differently.
Facing the approaching holidays when you are grieving brings on
a feeling of heaviness, and to some, even suffocation. Partly,
this is due to our expectations about what the holiday should
look like, based on past events. We remember all the things we
usually do, the preparations that take lots of enthusiasm,
thought, and energy, things you may feel short of at the moment.

What has worked for many people over the years is changing the
holiday expectations by changing the rituals involved. Instead
of getting a tree and trimming it in the usual way, someone may
choose instead to buy a small table tree, and just do minimal
decorations. This requires much less energy and still can bring
the beauty of the holiday into the house.

Others decide to do away with trees and decorations altogether.
They may decide to have a family dinner and go out to a movie
instead. Another person may decide to ask family or friends to
bring a tree and decorate it for them.

One of the most difficult things for many women is thinking
about planning and preparing big traditional meals. No problem,
don’t do it. Ask someone else to be in charge of this and your
job is just to show up, that is, if you decide you want to. You
can prepare a side dish if you really feel like you want to
contribute.

If you decide to choose option two, you will need to consult
with others in your household. If you have children, give them
an opportunity to offer suggestions. They may have some better
ideas than you!

Option three is to keep things the same, and to prepare the way
you normally would. Many people who choose this option find that
they wear themselves out and end up disappointed with the
results. If you choose this option, be flexible, as you may find
that you have less energy than you thought you did. Be prepared
to accept alterations, when necessary.

What Did Marianne Do?

Marianne listened as I told her about others who changed their
holidays to suit their inner needs. She realized that because
she was changing inside with the grief, that it was appropriate
to have a different holiday as well.

l) First of all, she decided to “play it by ear.” She realized
that she didn’t have to stick to her plan, but could make last
minute changes if needed.

2) She gave herself permission to simplify. Even if you’re not
grieving, this is a good idea. In her case, she decided not to
send out holiday cards, to ask her friends to cook the holiday
meal, and she ordered just a few gifts online, thus avoiding the
holiday shopping frenzy altogether.

3) She gave herself permission to say “no.” This was not easy
for her, but she did it anyway, and avoided going to some
holiday functions that she really didn’t want to attend.

4) She created a new holiday ritual to honor the memory of her
husband. She asked her family to donate money to her favorite
charities instead of giving her gifts. She also asked for
friends and family to take time to create a ‘memory card’ that
she then hung on her tree. The memory card was simply a handmade
card that held a handwritten memory about her husband.

5) She decided to create some special times for herself during
the holidays to commune with God. In her case, this was by
setting up a few hikes with a friend, in the desert near her
home. She knew that Nature was healing and felt that it was
important to give herself some special healing time.

6) Marianne knew that the holidays would go better if she stayed
in touch with herself and her feelings. She was wise enough to
know that if she tried to push away the grief, it would only
grow and push out in another direction. So, she decided that
when sadness came up, she’d take a breath, acknowledge the
feeling and allow it to sweep through her. She realized the
tears could come at any time, and she was willing to let them
flow. She’d had enough experience to know that when she did
this, she felt better quicker than when she tried to control the
flow.

7) She also knew that helping someone else would help her with
her grief. She chose to donate some time at a women’s shelter
and found that this not only took her outside of her own
situation, but it also did someone else some real good. She knew
this was another way to honor her husband’s memory, by giving to
someone else in need.

Remember, grief is a normal response to loss and change. It is a
natural healing process that takes time. We are forever changed
by the losses, especially deaths, in our lives. Our goal should
not be to “get over grief,” but rather to allow ourselves to be
moved and changed by the grief, learning how to incorporate the
loss in our hearts and lives as we re-define our lives.

It’s ok to grieve during the holidays because it is an
acknowledgement of the change in your life and it will aid you
in your healing journey. Be gentle with yourself, surrounding
yourself with people who love you and who will allow you to be
just where you are in each moment. Find the courage to move
forward, one step at a time, and to choose to be grateful for
the good things in your life.

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